As we established in my last and many of my recent posts, I do love love love my new(ish) job. LOVE IT. It's like my own little corner of Hong Kong in Brisbane. LOVE IT.
Why do I love it?
1. The parents are overseas. NO PHONE CALLS! No parental interference. AWESOME.
2. They are paying HUGE money to be there.
3. They are adults. (I know I call them kids but since they are HALF my age, they are kids)
4. It's a prep year for uni so it's srs bzns.
5. I have great support people and a really cool English staff.
6. It's close to home.
7. The pay is good.
8. The hours are flexible.
9. My students are AMAZING and I love all my classes.
10. Very little discipline problems means I get to TEACH in the time allotted to teach. *shocking*
However, like any job, there are drawbacks.
My complaints are not with the job/workplace itself, although there are issues, but with teaching in general.
#1: "Teacher, why did you GIVE me that mark?" Oh my sweet child o mine...I gave you nothing. I merely wrote down a numerical representation of the work you gave me to review. If anything, you should look at it as you gained those marks, as you started with 0 prior to submission.
While I admit my marking suffers at times (too tried, too bored, too drunk), on the whole, I think I am consistent. I have almost 20 years of practice doing it. Well, 17. Not quite 20. Let's not make me older than I am, shall we? Thanks.
If you follow the guidlines given, trust me, you WILL pass. The school lays it out pretty damn well for you all. If you have questions, ASK. I don't bite (hard). I can be nice. If you don't ask, I assume you know. I assume you are ok. I have heaps of students. I can't chase you down because I *think* you might have issues.
#2: "But but but....the OTHER kids got...." This might be the #1 reason for me not to have kids. If the other kids jumped off a bridge, would you? You would? Cool. Let's go find that bridge. Leeming. Don't let me stop you.
I had a girl the other day say to me "But, teacher, all the other Korean students I know got 6s and 7s." That's.....great. And? Maybe their teachers like them more than I like you. Maybe their teachers were more drunk than me when they marked their papers. Maybe they bribed their teachers better than you bribed me. Or, maybe, JUST MAYBE, they did better work than you did. Maybe they have better attendance than you do and therefore, are more aware of the requirements of the assessment pieces. Just. Maybe.
#3: "How can I get you to give me 90%" My standard answer is $100 per grade. You want a 90? 90 X $100 is the going rate. "Oh but miss, I have a 70 now. I should only pay for the 20%." No, my darling dumpling face. If you are bribing me and I may lose my job, I need a bigger cushion than $2k. Now, fearing that some of my students now COULD bribe me, I need to be more careful. Or up my rates. Or remind them that the easiest way to get a 90 is to follow the well-laid out criteria and DO THE WORK.
#4: "Yes, I know the deadline is XX date but for me, you can change it, right?" Yanno what, my little pudding cup? Due dates, like road rules in China, are merely a suggestion. I can't FORCE you to hand in your assessments on that date. In fact, if you don't, there is precious little I can do....other than remove 5% per day it is late, which is what EVERY SINGLE TEACHER at the school will do. You're sick? Sorry. I hope you have friends you can trust to get the paper in on time. Also, this due date was stated pretty damn clearly at the START of the year. Yeah. You've known for over 3 months. Do you hear that? No? World's smallest violin playing for you, sugar lump.
#5: Mobiles in the classroom. I am not blind or stupid. When your head is bent over the desk, I KNOW what you are doing. Stop it. When you ask me for help a week later, I remember this and I wonder why you missed the oh so important information I pass on to everyone the day you decided it was more important to watch the NBA playoffs on your iPhone. You're 18. WHY DO YOU NEED AN iPHONE?
#6: Being late. This is not just in the classroom. This is in life. If you have an appointment time, MEET IT. My classes start at a certain time for a reason. Look, I am the FIRST one to bitch that Brisbane transport is BEYOND shit but *I* know this. You've been here 4 months and you know. When it's a problem, as you know it is, LEAVE YOUR HOUSE EARLIER. All the empathy in the world from me over BNE transport won't change your sagging attendance figures.
#7: "Other teachers gave their students XX and YY." Again, that's nice. And what do you want from me? It's not like they gave them the test in advance. I agree that for the most part, we should be all on the same page with what we tell the students but at the same time, I can't speak for teachers who have been here longer than me and therefore have a better clue. Also, I am not doing your review for you. I won't spoon feed you. Here's a shocking truth, sugar plum, you need to learn these things for yourself. SHOCKER. By me not telling you exactly what you need to know may make me "mean" but at the same time, it prepares you for the real world. You're not going to be in bubble wrap forever.
All in all, I loooooove my job and my chosen profession but sometimes, just sometimes, I would like to smack some kids with a Clue By Four.
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