Bash away!

Ok, no, I don't condone hitting kids, but when one kid takes on another kid who was trying to rip off his stuff, I'm all for it.

I am certainly NOT for parents who say "Ok, he's no angel, but he didn't deserve punishment for trying to break into someone's house."

Yes, yes he does. He deserves to be punished, as do the parents for raising such a socially retarded child. When are we going to start holding people accountable for what they do? Why is this not standard practice?

Kids out wandering the streets at 930pm at night? Where are the parents?

http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/queensland/son-cops-rough-justice-to-the-head/story-e6freoof-1226086683599

Airline bans babies in First Class

http://www.couriermail.com.au/business/malaysian-airlines-announces-they-will-ban-babies-from-flying-sirst-class-after-complaints-from-passengers/story-e6freqmx-1226084221125

Thank. God. Finally, some sense.

Of course, my sister is the only one of my Facebook who disagrees. Shame. Before she had kids, she used to think with her head, not her womb.

If ONLY I could afford to fly first class. *sigh*

There is nothing worse than children on a plane. If I had the money (and excellent lawyers) I would start a No-Kids Airline. Kids are the WORST on planes - ignoring of course durnken pissing Kiwis. (http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10735146)

I was fortunate once to get a Business Class upgrade and had to endure a screaming baby who was in the first row of Cattle Class. I hated it. I hate flying but it is a necessary evil. I do use ear plugs but most baby screams pierce through those like a hot knife through butter.

Planes need a parents section so that those who choose to burden their life with children are not a burden to those who choose not to.

Vanity, thy name is MOI.

A while ago, I bought a Keratin straightening treatment off of a Groupon website for $55. Why not? I won't pay the $500 Australia wants to charge, but I will try it for $55.

I have had curly hair all my life. I like it, but at the same time, it's annoying.

Exhibits A and B (me with curly, long hair) - ps these pics are old, sorry:

Those are both pretty natural, not a lot of product in it, left to air dry etc etc. I am laaaaazy when it comes to my hair. LAAAAZY.

The last time I got a trim, they straightened it Exhibit C:

That's straight. WOW.

I do own a straitening iron and I have tried to do it myself. I can't find that pic at the moment. Suffice to say, it was not well done. FOUND IT!!

Exhibit D :

If this hair straightening fails, I can always shave my head again! Exhibit E:

Failing that, there is my wig collection, Exhibit F:

GODDAMMIT! All these pics make me miss Hong Kong. Bastards.

I got a B! No, Ralph, that's an F. I must've spilled some kahlua.

As we established in my last and many of my recent posts, I do love love love my new(ish) job. LOVE IT. It's like my own little corner of Hong Kong in Brisbane. LOVE IT.

Why do I love it?
1. The parents are overseas. NO PHONE CALLS! No parental interference. AWESOME.
2. They are paying HUGE money to be there.
3. They are adults. (I know I call them kids but since they are HALF my age, they are kids)
4. It's a prep year for uni so it's srs bzns.
5. I have great support people and a really cool English staff.
6. It's close to home.
7. The pay is good.
8. The hours are flexible.
9. My students are AMAZING and I love all my classes.
10. Very little discipline problems means I get to TEACH in the time allotted to teach. *shocking*

However, like any job, there are drawbacks.

My complaints are not with the job/workplace itself, although there are issues, but with teaching in general.

#1: "Teacher, why did you GIVE me that mark?" Oh my sweet child o mine...I gave you nothing. I merely wrote down a numerical representation of the work you gave me to review. If anything, you should look at it as you gained those marks, as you started with 0 prior to submission.

While I admit my marking suffers at times (too tried, too bored, too drunk), on the whole, I think I am consistent. I have almost 20 years of practice doing it. Well, 17. Not quite 20. Let's not make me older than I am, shall we? Thanks.

If you follow the guidlines given, trust me, you WILL pass. The school lays it out pretty damn well for you all. If you have questions, ASK. I don't bite (hard). I can be nice. If you don't ask, I assume you know. I assume you are ok. I have heaps of students. I can't chase you down because I *think* you might have issues.

#2: "But but but....the OTHER kids got...." This might be the #1 reason for me not to have kids. If the other kids jumped off a bridge, would you? You would? Cool. Let's go find that bridge. Leeming. Don't let me stop you.

I had a girl the other day say to me "But, teacher, all the other Korean students I know got 6s and 7s." That's.....great. And? Maybe their teachers like them more than I like you. Maybe their teachers were more drunk than me when they marked their papers. Maybe they bribed their teachers better than you bribed me. Or, maybe, JUST MAYBE, they did better work than you did. Maybe they have better attendance than you do and therefore, are more aware of the requirements of the assessment pieces. Just. Maybe.

#3: "How can I get you to give me 90%" My standard answer is $100 per grade. You want a 90? 90 X $100 is the going rate. "Oh but miss, I have a 70 now. I should only pay for the 20%." No, my darling dumpling face. If you are bribing me and I may lose my job, I need a bigger cushion than $2k. Now, fearing that some of my students now COULD bribe me, I need to be more careful. Or up my rates. Or remind them that the easiest way to get a 90 is to follow the well-laid out criteria and DO THE WORK.

#4: "Yes, I know the deadline is XX date but for me, you can change it, right?" Yanno what, my little pudding cup? Due dates, like road rules in China, are merely a suggestion. I can't FORCE you to hand in your assessments on that date. In fact, if you don't, there is precious little I can do....other than remove 5% per day it is late, which is what EVERY SINGLE TEACHER at the school will do. You're sick? Sorry. I hope you have friends you can trust to get the paper in on time. Also, this due date was stated pretty damn clearly at the START of the year. Yeah. You've known for over 3 months. Do you hear that? No? World's smallest violin playing for you, sugar lump.

#5: Mobiles in the classroom. I am not blind or stupid. When your head is bent over the desk, I KNOW what you are doing. Stop it. When you ask me for help a week later, I remember this and I wonder why you missed the oh so important information I pass on to everyone the day you decided it was more important to watch the NBA playoffs on your iPhone. You're 18. WHY DO YOU NEED AN iPHONE?

#6: Being late. This is not just in the classroom. This is in life. If you have an appointment time, MEET IT. My classes start at a certain time for a reason. Look, I am the FIRST one to bitch that Brisbane transport is BEYOND shit but *I* know this. You've been here 4 months and you know. When it's a problem, as you know it is, LEAVE YOUR HOUSE EARLIER. All the empathy in the world from me over BNE transport won't change your sagging attendance figures.

#7: "Other teachers gave their students XX and YY." Again, that's nice. And what do you want from me? It's not like they gave them the test in advance. I agree that for the most part, we should be all on the same page with what we tell the students but at the same time, I can't speak for teachers who have been here longer than me and therefore have a better clue. Also, I am not doing your review for you. I won't spoon feed you. Here's a shocking truth, sugar plum, you need to learn these things for yourself. SHOCKER. By me not telling you exactly what you need to know may make me "mean" but at the same time, it prepares you for the real world. You're not going to be in bubble wrap forever.

All in all, I loooooove my job and my chosen profession but sometimes, just sometimes, I would like to smack some kids with a Clue By Four.

Kids are great, Apu. You can teach them to hate the things you hate and they practically raise themselves

Normally, I am not one of *those* CFers. I don't want kids. Yours are fine. I enjoy reading Booj. I am a teacher FFS. If you want to be knocked up and are, I am truly happy for you. If you don't want to be and are not, awesome! Let's have a drink. I don't GET the desire, never having felt that bio clock once. Did I hit snooze or throw it through a window?? I dunno. However, certain things make me want to SCREAM at breeders to STFU. If you think this might offend you, you might want to stop reading.

G showed me THIS ARTICLE last night. This morning, I am still fuming. Not about the article, mind you, but about the mindless fucking comments but mindless fucking breeders that followed.

One comment, I want to cut and paste and plaster all over parenting forums.

"Steve & Liesel have said what I was going to say: this would be about the 10th article I've read in The Age over the past few years on this "issue". It is BORING, BORING, BORING. Clem, if that's really your name, just get on with your life and stop whingeing about this sort of thing. You don't want kids - good luck to you. Couldn't care less & don't want to read articles about it. And Age editors: stop printing articles on this really tedious subject.
Peter | Northcote - June 21, 2011, 11:14AM"

Now, if I can edit this to read "This would be about the 1000000000th article I've read in The Age over the past few DAYS on this "issue". It is BORING, BORING, BORING. Parents, just get on with your life and stop whingeing about this sort of thing. You wanted kids - good luck to you. Couldn't care less & don't want to read articles about it. And Age editors: stop printing articles on this really tedious subject." and then paste this on every single fucking article about parenting or in comments when someone bemoans "Won't someone think of the children" or feels that bringing up the fact that they are a parent means they should get special treatment, I'd feel better. The majority of people have or want kids. This does not make it special when EVERYONE is doing it.

What I wish would happen is that Clem or whomever managed to get This Section peppered with those comments and removed. Does the paper (online or print) NEED a baby section? I think not. You can't read the paper today without being bombarded with ads and baby info. Even my Facebook is trying to convince me to shit one out, with IVF and "Why aren't you a mother" ads on the side.

Have em, have 19 (bit excessive), don't have em, can't have em... why does everyone think that they get a say in what a woman does with her uterus? If you have em, people want you to have more. Can't have one. Oh no. That's selfish. Have more than 3? OMG You're insane having so many? Don't you know about birth control?? Can't have em? Awww...you poor thing, have you considered adoption (bc that's EASY!) or IVF (which is SO cheap!)? Don't want em? What's WRONG with you? Clearly, you are not a real woman. Have you no heart?

While parents may think that their kids are the reincarnation of jeebus and the sun shines out their babies bottoms (last I checked, that is the LAST thing that came out of a baby's bottom!!!), having a baby is NOT a big deal. It's what 'should' happen. As someone said in the comments :"Sure, "congratulations" are in order, but getting pregnant doesn't usually involve a special skill. We've being doing it for a good million years and it takes as much work on average from a PhD as it does a drunk 16 year old." Christ, if Bristol Palin can do it....

*sigh*

720am and my blood is boiling. Maybe a good thing, since it's f'n cold here this AM.

Oh, and a bonus article: Whining is the worst sound. Later today, the papers will report that water is wet and that the sky is blue. THANK YOU CAPTAIN OBVIOUS! You're welcome, No-Shit Boy!

Since I have most likely offended people, unfriending line to the left please.